{"id":10455,"date":"2016-12-22T10:08:50","date_gmt":"2016-12-22T10:08:50","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/armanios.co.uk\/dev\/sia\/?p=10455"},"modified":"2017-01-17T15:02:40","modified_gmt":"2017-01-17T15:02:40","slug":"when-david-met-nicky","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/armanios.co.uk\/dev\/sia\/when-david-met-nicky\/","title":{"rendered":"Extraordinary Weddings: When David met Nicky"},"content":{"rendered":"
\"David

Credit: Marcus Ward of Bigeye Photography<\/em><\/p><\/div>\n

Tonight we see the third and final episode of the ITV documentary series Extraordinary Weddings. The heart-warming series follows six couples who have defied all the odds and overcome huge difficulties in order to make it down the aisle to say \u201cI do\u201d. An event that is supposed to be the most special days of every betrothed couple\u2019s life, but for some couples, their wedding day also proved to be the most challenging. <\/strong><\/p>\n

In the first episode of the series we watched Carly and Nelly, marry in Newquay, and we followed their journey from her spinal cord injury, right through to the planning of their wedding. And tonight we will be following the journey of SIA member David and his wife Nicky as they tie the knot.<\/p>\n

David was on a holiday family in 1999 when he jumped in to a swimming pool and suffered an accident which resulted in him being paralysed from the chest down. David was an active person; enjoying tennis, golf, windsurfing, and skiing, and after his injury he worried whether life would be the same again. After a relationship breakdown and vowing to get his life back on track David signed up to match.com and found the love of his life in the form of the lovely Nicky. Nicky is a wonderful lady, with a passion for life and a creative mind, and both David and Nicky have spoken to us at SIA to tell us about their journey, how they met and life since getting married.<\/p>\n

As well as mentoring people with Spinal Injuries, David has delivered many workshops on Funding and Managing Care for the SIA\u00a0and more recently David has taken on being Chairman and Coach for Gloucester Wheelchair Rugby Club; Principal of Sailability at Whitefriars; and is Treasurer for the Hansa Class UK.<\/p>\n

\"512David<\/a><\/p>\n

    \n
  1. How did you both first meet?<\/strong><\/li>\n<\/ol>\n

    David: We met through a dating site Match.com, but weirdly when we first spoke we discovered that we had actually met 20 years earlier when we worked together for a small marketing agency.<\/p>\n

    Nicky:\u00a0 I saw David\u2019s profile and was instantly attracted to his gorgeous smile and his interests which were remarkably similar to mine.<\/p>\n

      \n
    1. What was it about each other that instantly attracted you to the other?<\/strong><\/li>\n<\/ol>\n

      David: Nicky has a beautiful smile, and is incredibly bubbly and good fun.\u00a0 Conversation was so easy.<\/p>\n

      Nicky:\u00a0 He was so funny and easy to talk to.\u00a0 He is warm, caring and compassionate and also very good looking with a cheeky sense of humour!<\/p>\n

        \n
      1. At what stage did you disclose your injury, or Nicky were you aware of David\u2019s injury?<\/strong><\/li>\n<\/ol>\n

        David: I put pictures of me in a chair on Match, and mentioned it in my profile.<\/p>\n

        Nicky:\u00a0 I saw the wheelchair in his pictures on the dating website, but I really didn\u2019t think too much of it.\u00a0 During a conversation a few days later, I asked him about his disability and he told me the story and I asked lots of questions.\u00a0 He never hid anything from me, but over time introduced me to other aspects of his care and his daily needs.<\/p>\n

          \n
        1. How did you find dating over the coming months after meeting?<\/strong><\/li>\n<\/ol>\n

          David: We met quite often, going to museums, restaurants, having meals at home etc.\u00a0 As time went on Nicky learnt how to help me so that we were not dependent on a carer with us all the time.<\/p>\n

          Nicky:\u00a0 We spent a lot of time together doing absolutely normal \u2018date\u2019 things, we had a lot in common and it was easy to fill a whole day or an evening together.\u00a0 I found the addition of an ever present carer very difficult; we spoke about it early on and I knew immediately that I wanted to be involved in David\u2019s care so that we could do things together without a third person with us.<\/p>\n

            \n
          1. How did your lives both change once you got together and began to live with each other?<\/strong><\/li>\n<\/ol>\n

            David: It was fantastic to have somebody with me, somebody to go out with, and to have fun again.\u00a0 Nicky moved in quite quickly, and we worked together on marketing her wedding stationery business: Millie and Me.\u00a0 In no time she got involved with the rugby and the sailing; even learning how to rig my boat.<\/p>\n

            Nicky:\u00a0 The biggest change was that I moved in with David quite soon after we met but it felt absolutely the right thing to do.\u00a0 We worked together on marketing my wedding stationery business (www.millieandme.net<\/a>) and I also learnt to rig David\u2019s boat and got involved with his dinghy racing and his wheelchair rugby team!\u00a0 We realised that living with full time carers living in the house was not going to work for us and so we began to look into alternative options; this took time and needed to be carefully managed.<\/p>\n

            \"182David<\/p>\n

              \n
            1. What problems have arisen that have really challenged your relationship?<\/strong><\/li>\n<\/ol>\n

              David:\u00a0 Care has been the main problem.\u00a0 I initially didn\u2019t want Nicky to do aspects of my care to keep our relationship fun.\u00a0 It was hard when we had live-in care, because there was always someone else there.\u00a0 Even when we had part time care, it was hard for Nicky to accept that somebody else had to do such intimate things with me, and to spend so much time taking me to things.\u00a0 Another frustration has been how my disability limits options for us e.g. going to a spa, travel destinations etc.<\/p>\n

              Nicky:\u00a0 Learning to understand David\u2019s care needs was hard; I found it very difficult to live with full time care in the house and the dynamics of having a third person around us.\u00a0 Being in a new relationship brings its own challenges and it was a lot to think about as we found ourselves falling very much in love.\u00a0 I learnt early on that I needed to plan things carefully and check out accessibility wherever we went, which was (and is!) sometimes frustrating.<\/p>\n

                \n
              1. Does David\u2019s injury affect your relationship with one another?<\/strong><\/li>\n<\/ol>\n

                David:\u00a0 I get frustrated because I want to be able to help more, and I realise how much Nicky is doing for me, around the house, and when we\u2019re away.\u00a0 It makes it quite hard to do things independently, and for either of us to get a break from each other.<\/p>\n

                Nicky: Yes, and no!\u00a0 It doesn\u2019t change my feelings for him; I fell in love with him because of his personality, the wheelchair and all that comes with it are just a part of him!\u00a0 It is sometimes VERY tiring, because David is so active and the days are often long.\u00a0 We have the help of a carer which gives us both a break, and gives me my own time \u2013 and gives David a break from me!\u00a0 But I do everything because I love him; if he could, he would be doing them for me too.<\/p>\n

                  \n
                1. How did you propose David? Were you expecting anything or was it a complete shock to you Nicky?<\/strong><\/li>\n<\/ol>\n

                  David:\u00a0 I contacted the owner of the restaurant where we went or our first date, and asked him if he would present a ring when he brought the bill after our meal.\u00a0 I took the boxed tiffany ring with a card a few days before the meal.\u00a0 The card said \u201cwill you marry me?\u201d.\u00a0 As Nicky opened it I asked the question.<\/p>\n

                  Nicky:\u00a0 I was completely overwhelmed and burst into tears!\u00a0 Lots of people in the restaurant were looking at us and clearly waiting for me to answer!\u00a0 Of course I said yes and I had very happy tears!<\/p>\n

                  \"138David<\/p>\n

                    \n
                  1. And now you are married! Tell us about the big day\u2026<\/strong><\/li>\n<\/ol>\n

                    David:\u00a0 The day was amazing, but hugely emotional.\u00a0 Nicky didn\u2019t look like she would make it up the aisle (through the tears!) and both of us struggled to say our vows which we had written to each other. It was fantastic to have so many of our friends and family with us.\u00a0 The whole day went in a blur; but we carried on dancing, drinking, and chatting until 3:30am.<\/p>\n

                    Nicky: It was absolutely incredible.\u00a0 We were surrounded by our family and friends and it was a very, very emotional service.\u00a0 It was perfect and everything that we had dreamed it would be.\u00a0 We managed to do a first dance to Ed Sheeran\u2019s \u2018Thinking Out Loud\u2019 \u2013 the first line says \u2018When your legs don\u2019t work like they used to before\u2026\u2019!\u00a0 It was great fun and we were still laughing when David wheeled over the train of my dress and nearly pulled me off my feet!<\/p>\n

                      \n
                    1. What are your favourite things to do together as a couple?<\/strong><\/li>\n<\/ol>\n

                      David:\u00a0 Apart from the obvious thing that couples enjoy doing together, we love concerts, rugby\u00a0 matches, eating out and in with friends, traveling, and I\u2019m trying to teach Nicky how to sail.<\/p>\n

                      Nicky:\u00a0 We both enjoy working on my business; David is very good at helping me with costings and marketing ideas \u2013 I\u2019m much happier being free to create designs and do the work on social media.\u00a0 We also enjoy concerts, pub quizzes and fiercely competitive games of Scrabble!<\/p>\n

                        \n
                      1. What advice would you give to someone with a SCI looking to find love David? And Nicky what would you say to someone who has reservations about dating someone with a SCI?<\/strong><\/li>\n<\/ol>\n

                        David:\u00a0 My advice would be to enjoy life.\u00a0 If you\u2019re leading a fulfilling, rewarding life, then you have lots to talk about and it makes you an interesting person.\u00a0 It\u2019s important to believe in yourself and come across as confident and not too needy, in my view.\u00a0 Be honest about your disability, but don\u2019t let it dominate the relationship.<\/p>\n

                        Nicky:\u00a0 Ask questions; lots and lots of questions!\u00a0 As and when the relationship develops, don\u2019t be scared to ask for help from outside sources.\u00a0 I couldn\u2019t find a lot of the information I craved, which is part of the reason I have been so open and honest about things like sex in my blogs.\u00a0 Starting a relationship with someone who had been injured for some years was hard; I had no knowledge of SCI and no experience of care needs, funding, bowel management, skin issues \u2013 or anything else! Look at the person; if you find yourself falling in love with them, then that\u2019s all that matters.<\/p>\n

                        Photo credit:\u00a0Marcus Ward of Bigeye Photography<\/strong><\/em><\/p>\n

                        If you would like to see David and Nicky\u2019s wedding feature in the ITV documentary Extraordinary Weddings tune in to ITV1 on Thursday 22 December 2017. You can watch the previous episodes here <\/a>on the ITV Hub.<\/strong><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

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